things my dad taught me: reflections 1 year after his death
read time: 4 minutes
disclaimer: This is not medical advice. This is intended to educate, inspire and support you in your self healing journey. Speak to your medical professional. Some content might be sensitive; I invite you to practice self-harmonizing.
On September 6, 2022 at 2:19pm my dad Steven Arthur Nelson died in his home surrounded by his family.
He passed just 4 weeks and 2 days after a Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer diagnosis.
One month between diagnosis and death.
My dad was a force to be wreckoned with. He had the kindest, most playful heart, brightest eyes and biggest smile.
His happy place was in the pool or on the golf course.
my dad, Steve Nelson, playing golf
His death has illuminated a lot.
In the year since he returned to infinite Self from earthy embodiment…everything has shifted Within me and my business.
Perhaps most importantly, his death solidified that stress (chronic and traumatic) and the often invisible imprints stress leaves, is at the root of all the seemingly unrelated symptoms from back pain to addiction.
Here are just a few reflections on the life and passing of my beloved dad:
train your brain — a homeless high school drop out of a single mom with 5 boys became a millionaire… while he was living under the Santa Cruz boardwalk he read the dictionary one page at a time and eventually pulled himself out of a lifetime of poverty
bet on yourself — people will tell you you aren’t good enough and it’s your responsibility to cultivate the practices to remind yourself you are
connection and community is a basic survival need — social isolation will make you as sick as bad food and poor sleep
money only matters if you have people to share it with
exercise, lift weights, be active… but also…how’s your stress, gut health, skin health, sleep, relationships, unhealed traumas??? — your mental, emotional, energetic health creates your physical health
it’s okay to set boundaries — ask for time alone when you need it because in the alone time is where we learn to love ourselves
deferred gratification — when you decide what’s worthy of your time and energy, go all in, make sacrifices, but remember you are working to enjoy life
prioritize meaning over cheap thrills — on your death bed the only thing that matters is the love in your heart
the degree to which you need lifestyle changes, is directly related to your diagnosis, so please, please don’t wait until the whispers become screams
be generous with your resources (time, money, advice, smiles, etc.)
prioritize your people — have more experiences, take more trips, and document every step of the way…
you won’t heal everything in this lifetime, you aren’t meant to, it’s not about perfection
Since his passing I often found myself thinking… “if only I knew of somatics 10 years ago, maybe things would be different, maybe he’d still be here…”
Somatics are that powerful to heal stress and live with more awareness, empowerment and vitality.
Start exploring somatic practices here. Or consider 1:1 somatic coaching.
infinite love,
Stephanie
Join the community on Instagram @the.stress.healer
