chaos to clarity: make better decisions in 11 easy-to-follow steps
read time: 7 minutes | audio time: 22 minutes
disclaimer: This is not medical advice. This is intended to educate, inspire and support you in your self healing journey. Speak to your medical professional. Some content might be sensitive; I invite you to practice self-harmonizing.
Walking along an aisle in Whole Foods, scanning 100+ different types of yogurts, it dawned on me…
“No wonder we’re all stressed, overloaded, overwhelmed, procrastinating, and indecisive… look at all the choice we have! Look at all this information bombarding our nervous system all day every day”
Consider how much information you take in from your environment.
Your environment being:
external environment; grocery store, traffic, work, dresser drawers so stuffed they barely open or close, etc.,
internal environment; gut health, liver health, immune health, fascial tension, body temperature, etc.,
relational environment; between yourself, others, planet, gravity, time, space, etc.
SO MUCH INFORMATION!!!
Infinite information pouring in all the time!
It’s no wonder making decisions feels daunting and causes you to panic and freeze!
To overcome indecision and improve decision making abilities try these 11 steps.
1. Recognize Your Experience
First thing first… SLOW DOWN! Pause! Recognize what’s happening in your experience at the moment. Notice and name your experience.
For exmaple;
“I am having a difficult time making a decision right now” or “At the moment, I’m feeling overwhelmed with choice” or “I can see I’m having doubts about what to do right now, I can tell my nervous system is feeling overwhelmed and unsafe”
Make the statement yours. Include qualifiers of time (right now, at the moment, etc.), as to also recognize the impermanence of emotions, experiences or energies.
You DO NOT need to have an explanation, story or drama about why you feel stuck here.
2. This as a Protective Response of the Nervous System
YES! This overwhelm, stuck, frozen energy is a normal even helpful response of the nervous system! It’s a Dorsal Vagal response.
It just isn’t serving you in this current context.
For example;
“My nervous system is trying to protect me” or “It’s normal for the nervous system to take in too much information at times and not feel capable of processing it all” or “This is an ebb in the flow, this is part of the process”
Again, you can make the statement yours.
3. Compassion and Choice
Practice compassion with where you are at.
What you resist, persists and if you are angry at yourself for feeling stuck or if you are blaming, criticizing, harshly judging, etc. only further adds to the nervous system feeling overwhelmed, unsafe and stuck.
For example;
“May I be kind to myself while I calmly look at possibilities and make a decision” or “may I allow myself some grace while I tune in to the best possible choice for me right now” or “I am open to listening to my intuition instead of external noise”
Allow yourself to feel that compassion and kindness you are offering yourself.
Also, recognize there is choice here. You can choose to default to your old way of making choices (or not making choices). You can choose to try something new. You can choose the statements that feel true and aligned for you. You can choose the gentle movement practice that suits you best (see step 4), etc… You have choice here.
4. Gentle Movement
Gentle movement like joint mobilization, tapping, or stretching helps to unfreeze some of that stuck, immobilizing energy of Dorsal Vagal (more on Polyvagal Theory here)
Operative word is gentle, not looking for intense, activating exercise.
Even 5-10 minutes could be very helpful, but you might prefer more time for movement, especially if you’re not currently working with somatic practices.
5. Consider Your Choices
Consider your possibilities, what decisions you could make. Allow the options to come into your awareness and write down the possibilities.
You might decide to set a timer for 10, 15, 20, 30+ minutes, however long you feel called. Sometimes creating a container of time solidifies when this step is complete so you can move on.
6. Feel Into Your Choices
Read the choices you wrote down in step 5 and notice how they land in your nervous system. Do not skip this step!
How does your body-mind-energy-intuition communicate with you? How does your nervous system respond to each possible decision?
Does a possibility feel exciting, energizing, invigorating, expansive, etc.? Or does it feel daunting, heavy, constrictive, etc.?
Not looking for logic here, but rather connecting to the wisdom of the body.
7. Make the Decision
Equipped with your intuition and instinct (see previous step 6)… make the decision!
Allow yourself to be decisive! Trust that the decision is the best decision for right now.
There is no right or wrong, there is only what feels most in alignment for you in this moment in time.
Know that it’s normal for doubt or worry to arise. Especially when it’s been an engrained pattern. When it does arise, remind yourself “this is a protection response and I am sticking with my decision”
8. Pause
Sometimes when we expand, it is natural for us to want to contract back to past shape, experience, behavior, etc.
Instead of contracting (but if you feel the need to contract, that’s okay too, no judgment here!), allow space to pause where you are.
Integrate the decision and progress you’ve made. This pause could be for one minute, one day, or one week — it’s up to you!
9. Plan
Now that you have your decision, feel into the next best step. You don't need to have all of the answers right now.
Consider what the next step is, it might help to make a list of several things that feel pertinent right now. Something that feels accessible, attainable, approachable. Consider actionable steps, feel into the choices, perhaps a bit more gentle movement (review steps 4-6)
Then focus your energy on just one thing for now.
10. Take Action
Do the ONE step. Pause again. Celebrate the step, the action, the progress! Integrate.
You’ve done enough for now, and you can return to this exercise tomorrow or the day after, or hell even once per week, and trust that the consistency will yield incredible results.
11. Clear Space
Clear out space in your environment (external, internal, relational) to support your nervous system not getting so overwhelmed next time.
This might be clearing one task from your weekly to-do list, or delegating a task to someone, or skipping this round of the training you want to do.
This will help set you up for success moving forward to approach decisions with more calm, clarity and confidence.
If you found this helpful, share this with a friend.
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Curious about 1:1 somatic coaching, join the waitlist here.
infinite love,
Stephanie
