8 familiar examples of trauma & 1 MAJOR takeaway
Read time: 6 minutes
Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. This is intended to educate, inspire and support you in your self healing journey. Speak to your functional medicine doctor or holistic psychologist. Some content might be sensitive; I invite you to practice self-harmonizing.
Likely you think “I haven’t experienced trauma; I’ve not been in a war or hurricane or raped, I’ve got nothing to heal…”
Although many of you have experienced one of those traumatic stressors. Trauma can happen outside of violence or natural disasters.
As humans the greatest thing we can do is grow through what we go through, and then allow those experiences to help others.
I believe your mess becomes your message and the traumas I’ve experienced in my own life (either my own experience or my family) are a driving force to share the inner work of healing stress.
Launching this dream business of mine, I was feeling called to share where this passion began… by getting personal with 8 experiences of trauma in my family.
Note: I have their permission to share.
trauma 1: dad childhood
Growing up, my dad’s dad abused my dad verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically; mocking him, ruthlessly telling him how stupid and incapable he was.
Living under the same roof, his mom was emotional absent, never telling her son she loved him until well into adulthood. Violence also comes in the form of disconnection and lack of presence.
He learned at a young age that he wasn’t wanted or accepted for who he is, and eventually learned that only achievements brought acceptance; a limiting belief which brought extreme stress that contributed greatly to his dis-ease and death.
trauma 2: dad surgery
My dad had a number of spinal surgeries to help his back pain. After one surgery, he was feeling particularly unwell and my mom rushed him back to the hospital. His colon had erupted. Surgeons removed part of his colon, gave him a colostomy bag which he wore with unexpected pride for nearly 6 months before reattachment surgery. Surgery is invasive and traumatic to the body and nervous system, even if the mind know it’s a life saving event.
Side note… upon reattachment, the Gastrointestinal doctor said he didn’t have to change any eating habits… none. The gut doctor said food doesn’t contribute to gut health… that’s conventional medicine for you…
trauma 3: mom car accident
In her mid-20’s, my mom was in a car accident that killed her first husband. Not only was the incident terrifying (a car landed on top of them), but dealing with the loss of her husband in the aftermath (loss of partnership, love, support, security, etc.) is also an incredibly scary and threatening thing to the nervous system.
trauma 4: mom childbirth
Even when childbirth goes completely smoothly, childbirth is still a traumatic experience for the body. A tiny hole is ripped wide open to expose the most precious, fragile part of your heart now living outside of you. Not to mention the artificial lights, and the horribly designed hospital settings not designed for safety, support or heath (more on that another day).
trauma 5: brother school shooting
In 8th grade, a boy at my brother’s school brought a gun and a hit list and held my brother’s classroom hostage - his teacher ran out of the classroom, leaving the children behind.
Although my brother could recall specific details that day, shortly after the incident, my brother couldn’t remember any details he previously recalled to my mom. In the 2 decades since, he has repeatedly declared “it is no big deal”, a notorious way the nervous system copes with traumatic stress.
trauma 6: me earthquake/natural disaster
In utero I experienced the Loma Prieta Earthquake at Candlestick Park in the World Series of 1989, and continued to develop in the aftermath of that overwhelming stressor.
Obviously this stressor was also experienced by my mom, and my dad was with her also. We know stress experienced by a mother in utero affects both her and the baby. Not only did I experience an overwhelming stressor, but I was raised by two humans who had just experienced the same traumatic stressor who hadn’t done any work to release the stress energy continuing to circulate through their body, informing how they reacted to future stressors.
trauma 7: me hostage situation
While traveling, I was held hostage by a mentally ill hotel owner who threatened to kill us, locked us in a room, and eventually turned off the power (lights, Wi-Fi, etc.). I remember getting ahold of my parents to tell them I love you and goodbye. Hours later local police rescued us.
trauma 8: me dad’s death
In August of 2022, we received news dad had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Just 4 weeks later he died. The death of a loved one is traumatic, they left and abandoned you, even if you know logically rationally they didn’t intend to. Your nervous system interprets their death (absence) as the loss of tribe, community support in your survival.
Four humans, 8 experiences of trauma. You might be asking… “what’s the point sharing this with you?”
My intention is not to scare you or stress you, life does enough of that.
My intention is to lovingly point out that trauma is all around us. Once you’ve acknowledged you’ve experienced trauma, only then can you heal.
It’s not your fault what you’ve been through, but once it’s happened it is your responsibility to heal.
My highest hope with this platform is support you in healing stress (chronic and traumatic) so you can release the fear, anxiety, self-doubt that cloud your judgement and keep you from actualizing the best possible version of yourself!
I hope this serves you.
infinite health & growth,
Stephanie
